Feelings aren't facts

I had an interesting conversation with a friend this morning. When the obsession to eat occurs, it does not have to overtake me. Unfortunately, I bought into this lie for most of my life, that somehow food would 'fix' things. Whenever I had a feeling, something would go into my mouth. Soon, all feelings felt like 'hungry' and the anxiety that resulted seemed to only be quelled by a pacifier - some food in my mouth.

But, as I didn't buy into that old thinking and didn't act on the feeling to eat,I fould that the feeling had a beginning and an end. I didn't die over it. Go figure! I might have once, years ago, had an "ahhh' moment when feeling anxiety and putting something in my mouth. I chased that 'ahhh' moment for the next 25 plus years, but if I ever got another 'ahhh', it was a quickie and pretty much followed by that 'ewww' feeling, again. Not only would the anxiety still be there but then I had some good old fashioned remorse as icing on my emotional cake.

Until I allowed myself to go through that momentary anxiety, come out on the other side relatively unscathed, how could I know that the anxiety wouldn't kill me? Sure, it initially felt that way but it always subsided, whether I ate or not. So, why eat? Why exaserbate the anxiety? It is so strange how we think food will 'fix' us and it doesn't. I want it to, and I tried so hard to make it true, that it'd fix me, but it never did.

Love, Gerri
trust God and buy broccoli

Could there be a correlation?

I just sent out my periodic newsletter - if you'd like to get on the mailing list, just send me an email - lifecoachgerri@aol.com. In it I talked about getting sick.

I lead a wonderful spiritual retreat in Grand Couteau, Louisiana two weeks ago. Just a few days before I was scheduled to fly out, I developed a rip-roaring head cold, I delayed the departure a day and doctored myself. What was that ... feed a fever, feed a cold? No worries, I just followed my food plan the best I could but was still conjested when I took off on Thursday.

I landed in New Orleans with an extremely painful earache. So off to a walk in clinic we go and the doc suggested some over-the-counter meds to get me back on my feet.

They taped the retreat and it's comical, loaded with sniffs, some sneezing and coughing but nonetheless, probably one of the best retreats I've ever lead! In-between sessions, I napped, drank plenty of liquids and did the best I could.

The cold drug on for nearly two and half weeks. I'm feeling better now, but man, it knocked the wind out of my sails.

It's important to really define those goals!

Some of you know how much I would love to be a guest on the Oprah Winfrey show! With every new topic on her website that I remotely qualify for, I send my 2000-letter (including spaces) post in.

On the way up to Grand Coteau, Louisiana this past weekend, I got a call from the Friends of Oprah show. I thought I might just have a heart attack! I was invited to be a guest caller on their talk radio. The topic was internet dating and I shared my cute story about how I met David. It was fun but I didn’t get to talk about ‘Trust God and Buy Broccoli’ at all. Lord knows I tried. And I didn't get invited to meet Oprah herself.

Well, guess it's another case of not defining my goals well enough, eh? LOL. Or maybe it means I"m inching my way closer to Oprah’s white couch. I'd like to think I'm inching my way closer.

I will be a guest on Brad Richard’s blog talk radio show this Wednesday evening at 9:00 p.m. EST. To join in on your computer, just click on http://www.bradrichard.com/radio.html. Brad also invites calls at (646) 595-3665. Hope that you plan to join us!

Thinking things through

I am learning how to listen to my intuition. This morning I woke up feeling overwhelmed. I came down to my office and looked at my crazy schedule. It all feels so logical when I'm penciling stuff in. And then when the day is done, I've not even left room for a potty run,and I can see the insanity. So I chopped it up. I canceled two of the events that require driving. Whew, feel better already!

Plus, I woke up with a full fledged, raring cold. What is it ... feed a cold, feed a fever? Now you know how I got to 248 and just stopped wieghing myself. What a relief to be in a normal body size 10 for nearly fifteen years now. From a yo-yo dieter to this. Amazing. No more diet, when I can live-it!

I bought cold remedies, not ice cream and comfort food. I'm feeling a lot better than when I got up and there is even a nap on the horizon.

It feels like I'm in one of those 'in the desert' places lately. I'm confused as to where God might be leading me with my work. I thought He had placed something before me and now that is not going to happen. It is funny because I am celebrating the loss with someone at the same time I'm grieving it. Oh wow, feeling two things at the same time - happy and sad. To think that I ate my way through that stuff is amazing to me. Using food to quell emotions is familiar but not the way to go. I not only eliminate uncomfortable feelings but the good stuff too.

I read a meditation this morning about finding the true me. When I think I have done that, when I know who I really am, I surprise myself with learning something new. Growth. Watch out for the little word "OW" right in the middle. When it's a tad uncomfortable, it's a real growth spurt!

I hadn't blogged for a while and was surprised by a nice note from a 'reader'. I'll make an effort to be more faithful.
Love, Gerri
trust God and buy broccoli